Thursday, November 15, 2018

Sub Rosa

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamt? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?
S. T. C.

I could feel her presence even if she did not have a face,
a shape or scent. She was undefined yet familiar,
immaterial yet unique.
At her side I was able to express my thoughts and feelings,
despite my own barriers. She told me about her past,
desires and dreams triggering in me
an inexorable craving to be with her, to connect to her.
In the midst of a tender hug,
after the kiss that followed the sweetness of a caress,
a secret, that had never been told, was shared.
While our eyes locked two smiles were drawn
as our complicity was born.

And this built bonds.

I closed my eyes and I dreamt; and, in my dream,
she let me see her inner side showing how,
just like me, she has vulnerabilities,
fears and had been hurt.
She had the courage to open her heart,
accepting the risk that comes
with investing herself in someone who may bring joy,
but could also bring ache;
a testament of her willingness to feel alive,
to feel committed.
She brought me to the point where I wanted,
more than anything, to embrace her vulnerabilities,
hold her hand when she is afraid and mend her pain,
because all of those experiences are part her story,
part of her life, a life which I want to wholeheartedly join
and make mine.

And this built trust.

I closed my eyes and I dreamt; and, in my dream,
she showed me how, just like me, she is strong and not perfect.
At the same time, she was willing to accept me with my strengths,
my weaknesses and shortcomings,
because I have all of them and not necessarily in the best proportion.
She accepted me even with the expectation that I will fail,
because I have failed several times in the past,
but she also knew that, sometimes, I will succeed,
especially when we are together,
because being together is success already.

And this built meaning.


And, since bonds, trust and meaning build love;
if one day, upon waking up, I find her at my side,
ah, then, I would have been bestowed an empyreal treasure!


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